Monday, January 3, 2011

Why are we Fostering?



“Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer

There was never an audible voice from the sky that came to us and said, “Now you will be foster parents.” (Ha-I wish it was that easy.) As I look back at what lead us to make the decision to become foster parents, it was a long series of education through experiences and the Holy Spirit urging us to put our faith into practice. We kept running into the question, “What are you going to do about it?”

Let me back up.

2004: The Lord provides an opportunity for me to spend 5 weeks in Uganda at an orphanage. There I’m confronted with the orphan reality. The first victims of war, poverty and disease are always children. They are not culpable for the atrocities that surround them, yet they are the ones who suffer the most. I came back to the U.S. burdened and hearing a voice say, “What are you going to do about it?”

2005
: My then boyfriend (now husband) gives me an offer I can’t refuse. Join his family on a trip to Thailand, then get jobs in Bangkok ,and live with family friends for free for the next 5 months. While living in Thailand, Nick and I volunteered in a government run orphanage. At this campus there were over 500 children ages 5 and under. We volunteered in the HIV ward. God gave us an uncomfortably close view of the scale, disease, and hopelessness of the orphan crisis. Again, the nagging question in both of our minds, “What are you going to do about it?”

2005
: I come back to the US and take a job at a residential treatment facility serving kids 4-12 years old. For 6 long, exhausting months I worked with some of the most severely abused and neglected children. It is a job that haunts me to this day. I felt overwhelmed and out numbered. I witnessed how Satan destroys by killing the spirit of a child. I left that position thinking I could never again work with severely abused and neglected kids. It was too hard, too painful, too stressful...

God was laying a foundation in us. In me.

2006-2010
: I move. We get married; we meet other believers who are concerned about the orphan crisis & they spur us on. We learn unsettling stats like 163 million orphans worldwide, 18.3 million double orphans, 500,000 children waiting in the U.S. foster care system. God blesses us with a 3 bedroom condo. We read books like this one and this one. They explain that God’s answer to the marginalized and broken has always been the Church. We learn more stats like in this:
  • In 2009, 2,041 children were in the foster care system in our county. 
  • However, in 2009, only 179 foster, foster/adopt homes existed in our county.
There is a huge need right in our backyard.

And here’s where God called us on the carpet.When we read the Bible, it says things like -
“God sets the lonely in families.” (Psalm 68:6) 
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” (James 1:27)
"Anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me." (Matthew 18:5)


Again, what are you going to do about it?

*Gulp*

On one of our romantic dates at the local Souper Salad we had the “Should we become foster parents?” discussion. I had a heart dropping, heavy feeling in my gut. I knew the Holy Spirit was calling us, but I didn't want to respond.
Adoption? Yes – I can get behind that.
Fostering? No – that’s not fun and glamorous. No thank you. Fostering does not sound like a delightful idea to me. Pour your heart into a hurting child. Nurture, love and care for them as your own, then have them taken away from you and you may never get to see them again. Remember the 6 months at the residential treatment facility in 2005? I know what this looks like. It’s messy and painful.
As my eyes welled up with tears there in the restaurant I told Nick, “Fostering is going to forever change us. For good and bad, it will leave its thumbprint on us.”

So here we are beginning our fostering journey. I feel like Isaiah.
"Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty." (Isaiah 6:5)
Obviously, the Lord has revealed Himself to us. He has personally shown us the great need and what He expects of His followers. We can’t play dumb and move forward with our lives as if we didn’t know the verses and the obscenely high numbers.

We are ruined, gloriously ruined. How thankful I am that the Sovereign Lord of the universe invites us to participate in loving His children.God is working in my heart and the fear, selfishness, and reservation are giving way to excitement. To quote Richard Stearns from The Hole in Our Gospel,
“We were confronted with a choice, which required us to reorder our priorities and our lives to become completely available to God, without conditions.”

Yes, it will cost us. It will alter our plans, our timeline, and challenge us in ways I can’t imagine. Praise God! Our plans were probably lame anyway. Of this I am certain, we will gain so much out of obeying and clinging to Jesus on this wild fostering parenting ride.

9 comments:

  1. Jaklin and Nick, I am amazed by your story. You are truly listening to God. I can not wait to support you both through this journey. It will leave a thumbprint on you, BUT just think of the thumbprint left on each child you parent. Absolutly so thrilled to be your friend and walk down this road with you both.

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  2. It is so exciting to see you guys start this process. And oh how true-- my plans ARE probably lame.

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  3. Wow! You two are amazing. I'm completely blown away and humbled by your commitment to the Lord. I'm sure He will bless your family and be with you all through all the trials. My prayers will be with ya'll! Go Nick and Jak!

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  4. Jak, okay I am so excited to meet you! Thank you for commenting on my blog today. I would love to talk to you, especially about the whole residential thing. God is giving me some ideas about this and I feel that seeing your comment today and reading your blog a bit tonight is all part of this!! If you get a chance, will you email me... clintandjami@gmail.com Bless you for what you are doing. It is a crazy and stretching journey, but we are so blessed to be on it. Know that I am here if you need support. Someone who understands! :)

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  5. yea - I love that God is doing this! and I can't wait to see who He brings into your lives. You are so generous with your love. You have our prayers! and our love!

    Team Clark

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  6. Guys!! We are so excited! I was blessed and encouraged by the story of your journey so far. Thanks for being so open and real about how it's been. I will excitedly follow you on this journey and will be praying as well.

    "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, BUT WHOEVER LOSES HIS LIFE FOR ME WILL SAVE IT." Luke 9:23-24

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  7. I've had that heart dropping gulp of a moment. Ignoring it and rationalizing it away is way too easy. Following it? That's hard. But GOD had you picked out for this while YOU were in the womb - He knew he wanted this for you. So thankful I get to see this journey unfold! XO!

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  8. Jak,

    We just read this and so much of it resonates with where we currently are. Already this experience of foster parenting has altered our schedules, our future plans, and our lives. But that's okay, our plans were probably lame anyways :)
    We have cried big tears and dared to love deeply even though we know goodbye is coming. It is a beautiful mess. And I know you guys will be fabulous foster parents. Lets hang out soon.

    lou

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  9. Wow. First of all, awesome blog. Secondly, your story is so courageous and inspiring. The world needs more good people like you and Nick. I look forward to keeping up with The amazing adventure that you both are about to embark on as a family.

    -Andy C.

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