I never wanted to be a foster mom

We had dinner with some dear friends tonight. They also happen to be foster parents. Our conversation turned to the children in their home. Their two, sweet kids are in the process of transitioning back to their biological parent's house.  It was heart breaking to hear our friends relay their conversations with the oldest sibling. We listened as they talked about trying to explain to him that there will be a day soon when he and his sibling won't come back. They will go for a visit with their biological parent, except this time it will be different. They will stay there in their parent's house and will not come back to the foster home they've known for almost a year. That's a difficult concept for adults to grasp, let alone a small child.

I came home from dinner and all the fear that lies underneath started to bubble up. I do my best to keep it at bay most days, but tonight it got the best of me.  I don't want to have that conversation with a sweet child who has been through too much for their young age. I don't want to tell her/him that they aren't coming back to our house anymore.

Why are we doing this? Why are we knowingly walking into something so painful? When I was little, I had several ideas of what I wanted to be when I grew up. Never once did that list of ideas include being a foster mom.  Who in their right mind signs up for this? Gentle readers, tonight I am very melancholy and sad.  I kind of want to run away.  I tried to negotiate my way out of fostering. I suggested to Nick that we just skip this fostering thing and start a family the traditional way.
 He said we could have a baby, but that we still have to foster and then I'd be preggo with brand new foster kids in the home. That has "bad idea" written all over it.
Then I offered  a "let's quit our jobs and tour around the wold child-free" deal.
He wouldn't budge. He said we couldn't bail.

Then he reminded me what our foster friends said tonight.  Nick reminded me why we are doing this. It's not about us. We believe that this work impacts eternity.  We will grow to love these children and  want the best for them.  Despite the broken hearts, loss of sleep, and heart wrenching devastation, it's what we've been called to do. And as much as we will love them, there is a God in heaven who loves these little ones infinitely more and has a bigger plan for their lives.

But it still makes me sad and afraid.

Infant Consultations

Don't worry gentle readers, I haven't fallen off the map. I am alive!  I apologize for the lack of posting.  Mid-February is my busy season at work. I survived relatively unscathed and now I can focus on the blog again. Hip, hip, hooray!

This past weekend we had our first overnight baby guest in the home. As you know, we will be fostering ages 0-5 years. So there is a high probability that a tiny person will be placed with us. Thank goodness we have help. THE Mr. Seamus Hudson came to asses the milieu for baby friendliness. You may have heard of him. He is a renowned Infant Environment Consultant from the northwest. I pulled some strings and we were able to book him for the whole weekend.  (It also happens that he's my sweet 4 month old cousin)

He gave us some recommendations for improving our baby knowledge and the infant environment of our condo.  It was truly amazing to watch him work his magic. He's brilliant. Here are the key-learnings from his visit.

#1 Babies wanna be Bono. Always give baby appropriate sized eye wear.

#2 Babies wanna party. Always be prepared to dance battle... with babies. 

#3 Babies love leche, but not quatro leches cake. That's a no-no.

#4 Babies are popular and always run with a posse.

#5 Infants love an inside joke.  Tell them lots of secrets (then all will be revealed).

We also learned some new vocabulary.
Blarg - verb
1: to engage in regurgitating, spitting up.
example: "That leche was so hype, I had to blarg on the first mamasita I found!"
Moby - verb
1: to wear an infant as an accessory on the chest
example: "That shirt is great, but I think you are missing something.  I know. You need to moby. Yeah, that's the ticket."

Mr. Seamus brought along his super cool mom and dad.  They also gave us some great tips and tricks for nurturing brand new infants.  It was great fun hosting my family and I can't wait to see them again!

The 3s of me

I have been tagged by this woman. Now I am supposed to write a note of the 3s of me.    

I'm so bizness-prof. Now cast me in your industrial

Three nicknames:  

1. Jak Attack (for obvious reasons)

2. Kitten (college roommate dubbed me this)

3.  J (this is when people are feeling lazy)

[side note: i hate the nickname Jackie. Please don't assume that I want you to call me that. I don't.]

Three jobs I've had in my life:

1. dance instructor (point your toes)

2. English teacher (I can say "Stop it!" in Thai)

3. animal photographer (I am very skilled with squeaky toys)

Three places I have lived:  

1. Washington, DC

2. Denver, CO

3. Austin, TX

Three  favorite drinks:

1. real Coke from a soda fountain (I try & limit these)

2. chocolate milk (because I'm 5)

3. basilitos (like a mojito, but with basil) 

Three TV shows that I watch

1. Teen Mom 2 (Wowza, Leah is the only one who's got a chance)

2.  Modern Family (given)

3.  So You Think You Can Dance (gotta keep my moves fresh)

Three places I have been:

1. New York, USA (big ups to VPixy & Bubs)

2. Oil City, LA (random story from 1997)

3. Brisbane, Australia (to visit the roommate that named me kitten)

Three of my favorite foods :

1. breakfast tacos with handmade tortillas (thank you, Austin TX)

2. buttermilk ranch dressing (yes, it's a food)

3.  cream cheese icing (ditto)

Three things I am looking forward to:

1.  getting kiddos placed in our home this summer (but that makes me sad too because they will have to go through something very bad to be placed in our home)

2. going to The Galileo School  in May (more posts to come about this adventure)

3.  Nick graduating from school

Three of my favorite sounds:

1. my dogs snoring

2.  my siblings laughing @ the same time (it can get pretty loud when we're all together)

3.  rain on our roof at night (you can also substitute the word "rain" with "snow" or "sleet")

Three of my favorite smells:

1.  cookies

2.  pine sol (thanks, Nimmy)

3.  newborn baby smell

Top 5 Lame Kay Jewelers Commercials

It's that time of year again! Ridiculous, over-dramatized jewelry commercials are on every channel leading up to V-Day. Is it just us, or do you also wait all year to mock the Kay Jewelers?  I mean, come on - these are just too good to not laugh out loud in the spirit of joyous sarcasm.

Without further adieu, here are the top 5 stellar Kay Jewelers commercials.

1) I think we can all agree with YouTube commenter Jee120 when he says, "The guy is hype as hell when she gets scared..'I'm right her [sic]' calm down...look at his face"

2) Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, yeeessssss.

3) Mom ring = EPIC

4) An open hearts cameo (and one of our favorite sitcoms)

5) Not Kay, but the most addictive jingle ever! (local jeweler shout out... jingle's at the end for those that have never heard it)

Training Update 2-04-11

Day 4 of "Icepocalypse" and we're snowed in and snacking on a Hickory Farms cheese and sausage basket that my parents gave us. Life doesn't get any better in my opinion. Here's an update on our foster training thus far and perhaps more info on the process for those interested.  Basically, in Texas, you have to do about 30 hours of training to become a foster parents (it's called PRIDE training if you wanted to know - ten points to whomever guesses what the acronym stands for). Your agency will put you through this training and some agencies add additional requirements as well. Ours breaks up training into 6 sessions, which include the State mandatory CPR and behavioral intervention training (BIT). So what does PRIDE consist of...? Rather than me explain it very poorly - here's an explanation from the State's website:

"PRIDE is a competency-based program consisting of 10 three-hour sessions, and covers topics ranging from attachment issues, loss issues, discipline, effects of abuse and neglect, sexual abuse, and the effects of fostering and adopting on the family."

Our coffee boost before we left for the first training

We've gone through the first 2 training sessions at our agency, which consists of all the PRIDE stuff (yikes - very eye opening btw. Also, agencies will usually lump the PRIDE trainings together into a couple days as opposed to 10 separate sessions - because seriously, who has time for 10 separate trainings sessions). Those first 2 trainings were all day sessions from 9am to 5:30pm. It's a long day, but you learn a ton of great info and you get to meet people going through the same process (and make new friends too - shout out to Phil and Lou!). Jak's little bro, who is a senior in college, was visiting the weekend of our first training and the

Jak's bro has a PRIDE training under his belt - here's proof!

sweet guy went with us. He even earned training credit! So now that leaves us with BIT, PMAB (Prevention & Management of Aggressive Behavior), CPR/First aid, and Medication training (which is actually optional if you're only fostering kids 5 and under). Roughly 3 more trainings and a decent amount of paperwork (which is a whole separate post) and we'll be "ready" for a home study.

60th Anniversary

Our church recently had its 60th anniversary - it was an amazing service that ended with a "cardboard testimony" from various church members. If you're unfamiliar with the cardboard testimony, it's a simple message on a piece of cardboard that has your testimony on it (i.e. something you've struggled with on one side and how God has brought you through it on the other). We were asked to participate and it was one of the most emotional, beautiful, and God glorifying things we've ever been a part of... here's some video footage from our Flip cam below (thanks Kahns!).

 It's hard to make out the writing on our sign from the video. You can see the high quality church footage here (The cardboard testimonies start at 1:05 but the whole sermon is great and not to be missed). And for those too lazy to wait for the high quality video to load this is what we had written on each side:

ICE DAY

Top Five Things to do on ICE DAY 2011

1. Sit by the fire

2. Play Wii

3. make cookies

4. dress like a hobo

5. walk around your fancy neighborhood dressed like a hobo and harass toddlers

As a bonus, you get a 2nd list.

Things not to do on ICE DAY 2011

1. conference calls

2. work emails

3. wake up early

4. stay indoors

5. homework